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I wanted to share some thoughts that crystalized today on the verge of something that is happening within me, which I personally think ranks amongst the best changes I am (slowly) doing for myself but even at this stage feels like night and day. I was at the Theosophical Library again (which, btw JMG, had yours The Way of the Four Elements and The Book of Haatan on window display) and a book caught my eye. It was Joscelyn Godwin et al.'s book about the Hermetic Brotherhood of Luxor, the one Paschal Beverly Randolph belonged to, and it was amazing to get into the mindset of a 19-20th century occult order.
One thing stood out to me, and it was a piece of advice I have been ignoring, or rather, misunderstanding its importance and meaning, just because I didn't know it was actually possible to be "grounded" and what that really meant. (Well, I don't but now I have the contour of an idea) This is vital for psychically sensitive people on the magical path because a lot(not all) of the material of modern training assumes everyone has their psychism shut-off and starts with practices to make the participant more sensitive, as a consequence, on a psychically sensitive person, it becomes unbalanced and can become very unbalanced if they already are, and probably are.
The relevant bit is this:
"PSYCHICAL CULTURE
A brief system of Soul Development, with Rules for Practical Occult Training, specially adapted to the Natural Requirement of the Western Members of the Exterior Circle of the Hermetic Brotherhood of Luxor.
Introduction
The primary law to be remembered in all the every species of occult training is that of equilibrium. The scientific evolution of the latent powers of the human soul is just as much the result of methodical procedure and constant application as the training and education of the young. No sudden results can naturally be expected. If there are, they are premature and abnormal, and instead of cultivating them, they must be retarded, since the perfect harmony of equilibrium has been violently disturbed [already]. "
This makes perfect sense to me, someone that is sensitive, if trained in "Psychic Culture or occultism" without taking his already sensitive nature into account in ways he is probably unfamiliar with can experience something similar to a neurosis or a congestion of the nerves, mood swings, sleep cycle changes, headaches, etc. not because of his sensitiveness per se, but because he is probably over stimulated already in today's world because of it. I didn't know I was, both, psychically sensitive and overstimulated until I came to occultism.
Thus, I came up with a draft of a set of things to ask oneself to give an idea if you are sensitive (either from natural psychism, some types of neurodivergence (some types of adhd and bpd at least seem to make people psychically sensitive) or stress-trauma-induced)
- Do people around you tell you that your mood changes too often?
- Do you feel very happy or very sad but not much in-between?
- Do you find yourself on edge often?
- Do you, yourself, experience your emotions strongly?
- Do you find yourself knowing, doing or seeing things you later realize someone close to you or someone you follow was doing?
- Do you tend to be "disorganized"? In here I mean in physical cleanliness and order, not if you know where everything is, despite the mess.
- Do you find yourself making decisions based on connections that seem disparate?
- Do you get confused when you try to explain your reasoning to someone else when they ask how did you know/do that?
- Has it happened to you that you become overwhelmed in social situations to the point of discomfort and need to leave?
- Do you find it easier sometimes to explain things in metaphors or relate it to a different sense organ?
- Do you have a tendency to addiction, obession or avoidance?
- Is it hard for you to do things when you don't feel like it?
- Do people tell you that you are chaotic in your ways but you think it's others' who are too rigid?
- Do you see or used to see as a kid spirits/ghosts or other disembodied beings that others couldn't?
- Do you feel plants and animals "speak" in a subtle way?
- Do you feel embarrassed regularly after you said or did something while you were exalted?
Of course, this is just a set of questions to trigger a way of thinking about yourself, not a "personality test", so it is not the answer to them but the process of questioning that matters.
If someone is eager in taking magical training but thinks they might be psychic or sensitive, the good news is, you are probably going to be good at it, but you will have to wait on the good parts a bit, and that will be hard because its where you will probably feel comfortable with and is why you came to magic in the first place.
What we need is an emphasis on structure, because we probably lack it in comparison, but it is not an imposed and rigid structure what we need, but one that allows you to have a center that is always there to come back to. It is not about becoming a structured person, I really can't do that, it is about having enough structure so that you can move your psychism farther without its intensity sweeping up your feet, because that is what structure (and patience) is for the mind, a way of instilling into it the elemental Earth qualities and this is very important to have. Just like in taichi/qigong (well, the sample week I took of it) every time they move their energies out in front or above, they touch ground again, one way or the other, we need to do the same thing when we move our minds.
To me this is the hardest because it is in highly volatile situations that I can put my psychism to best use, I can see and intuit better than most people, so I thrive when what is required is quick thinking and attention to the moving things in front of me more than on habit, discipline or knowledge. On the contrary, on a context that requires structure and discipline I feel like a fish out of the water. The way to think about it is this: most people find the meditation and scrying parts of training foreign and incredibly boring; slow and not knowing what to do with them besides slogging through them and takes at least a few weeks or months to see results. It is likely those are your favorite practices; they come naturally and feel familiar and perhaps you already have your own techniques but didn't know that's what it was. On the contrary, journaling, a routine, planning, and finishing things seems incredibly hard, tedious and a way to take all of the fun out of the process, when for other people that part is easy and is what eventually gives them the confirmation that magic is real and takes them further into the work. Well, just as people with those skills need to train their minds in sensitiveness, we need to train our minds in resilience, strength and most importantly, how to regulate it, because we are unconsciously used to tune into something, letting it move with the environment and then reading that movement as intuitions. To gain control of your psychism with structure is power --for as much as it feels like it will bring you boredom and death (it only will feel like that if you try to become a structured person instead of just adding a little more structure at a time).
So, timing, a little planning and routine, exercise that makes you sweat and good daily habits, heck, basically anything that brings a stable daily-life, need to be taken as seriously as the spiritual practices. At least for me, it was really odd to understand that to engage safely and powerfully in magic you need to get good at the mundane, and especially if you are sensitive. But it really does, in fact, if you do the above, the farther you get into magical progress the more in control your psychism will be; the more you will want it to shut down and at the same time the mundane feels amazing and those little things you hated now are the place you come to rest to and recover for another trip into the mysteries. It is almost as if there is a karmic-need to perceive the subtle so the only choice you really have is to perceive it in a chaotic way as life throws it at you or to take control of it and make it happen how you want it to happen for a life in equilibrium.
One thing stood out to me, and it was a piece of advice I have been ignoring, or rather, misunderstanding its importance and meaning, just because I didn't know it was actually possible to be "grounded" and what that really meant. (Well, I don't but now I have the contour of an idea) This is vital for psychically sensitive people on the magical path because a lot(not all) of the material of modern training assumes everyone has their psychism shut-off and starts with practices to make the participant more sensitive, as a consequence, on a psychically sensitive person, it becomes unbalanced and can become very unbalanced if they already are, and probably are.
The relevant bit is this:
"PSYCHICAL CULTURE
A brief system of Soul Development, with Rules for Practical Occult Training, specially adapted to the Natural Requirement of the Western Members of the Exterior Circle of the Hermetic Brotherhood of Luxor.
Introduction
The primary law to be remembered in all the every species of occult training is that of equilibrium. The scientific evolution of the latent powers of the human soul is just as much the result of methodical procedure and constant application as the training and education of the young. No sudden results can naturally be expected. If there are, they are premature and abnormal, and instead of cultivating them, they must be retarded, since the perfect harmony of equilibrium has been violently disturbed [already]. "
This makes perfect sense to me, someone that is sensitive, if trained in "Psychic Culture or occultism" without taking his already sensitive nature into account in ways he is probably unfamiliar with can experience something similar to a neurosis or a congestion of the nerves, mood swings, sleep cycle changes, headaches, etc. not because of his sensitiveness per se, but because he is probably over stimulated already in today's world because of it. I didn't know I was, both, psychically sensitive and overstimulated until I came to occultism.
Thus, I came up with a draft of a set of things to ask oneself to give an idea if you are sensitive (either from natural psychism, some types of neurodivergence (some types of adhd and bpd at least seem to make people psychically sensitive) or stress-trauma-induced)
- Do people around you tell you that your mood changes too often?
- Do you feel very happy or very sad but not much in-between?
- Do you find yourself on edge often?
- Do you, yourself, experience your emotions strongly?
- Do you find yourself knowing, doing or seeing things you later realize someone close to you or someone you follow was doing?
- Do you tend to be "disorganized"? In here I mean in physical cleanliness and order, not if you know where everything is, despite the mess.
- Do you find yourself making decisions based on connections that seem disparate?
- Do you get confused when you try to explain your reasoning to someone else when they ask how did you know/do that?
- Has it happened to you that you become overwhelmed in social situations to the point of discomfort and need to leave?
- Do you find it easier sometimes to explain things in metaphors or relate it to a different sense organ?
- Do you have a tendency to addiction, obession or avoidance?
- Is it hard for you to do things when you don't feel like it?
- Do people tell you that you are chaotic in your ways but you think it's others' who are too rigid?
- Do you see or used to see as a kid spirits/ghosts or other disembodied beings that others couldn't?
- Do you feel plants and animals "speak" in a subtle way?
- Do you feel embarrassed regularly after you said or did something while you were exalted?
Of course, this is just a set of questions to trigger a way of thinking about yourself, not a "personality test", so it is not the answer to them but the process of questioning that matters.
If someone is eager in taking magical training but thinks they might be psychic or sensitive, the good news is, you are probably going to be good at it, but you will have to wait on the good parts a bit, and that will be hard because its where you will probably feel comfortable with and is why you came to magic in the first place.
What we need is an emphasis on structure, because we probably lack it in comparison, but it is not an imposed and rigid structure what we need, but one that allows you to have a center that is always there to come back to. It is not about becoming a structured person, I really can't do that, it is about having enough structure so that you can move your psychism farther without its intensity sweeping up your feet, because that is what structure (and patience) is for the mind, a way of instilling into it the elemental Earth qualities and this is very important to have. Just like in taichi/qigong (well, the sample week I took of it) every time they move their energies out in front or above, they touch ground again, one way or the other, we need to do the same thing when we move our minds.
To me this is the hardest because it is in highly volatile situations that I can put my psychism to best use, I can see and intuit better than most people, so I thrive when what is required is quick thinking and attention to the moving things in front of me more than on habit, discipline or knowledge. On the contrary, on a context that requires structure and discipline I feel like a fish out of the water. The way to think about it is this: most people find the meditation and scrying parts of training foreign and incredibly boring; slow and not knowing what to do with them besides slogging through them and takes at least a few weeks or months to see results. It is likely those are your favorite practices; they come naturally and feel familiar and perhaps you already have your own techniques but didn't know that's what it was. On the contrary, journaling, a routine, planning, and finishing things seems incredibly hard, tedious and a way to take all of the fun out of the process, when for other people that part is easy and is what eventually gives them the confirmation that magic is real and takes them further into the work. Well, just as people with those skills need to train their minds in sensitiveness, we need to train our minds in resilience, strength and most importantly, how to regulate it, because we are unconsciously used to tune into something, letting it move with the environment and then reading that movement as intuitions. To gain control of your psychism with structure is power --for as much as it feels like it will bring you boredom and death (it only will feel like that if you try to become a structured person instead of just adding a little more structure at a time).
So, timing, a little planning and routine, exercise that makes you sweat and good daily habits, heck, basically anything that brings a stable daily-life, need to be taken as seriously as the spiritual practices. At least for me, it was really odd to understand that to engage safely and powerfully in magic you need to get good at the mundane, and especially if you are sensitive. But it really does, in fact, if you do the above, the farther you get into magical progress the more in control your psychism will be; the more you will want it to shut down and at the same time the mundane feels amazing and those little things you hated now are the place you come to rest to and recover for another trip into the mysteries. It is almost as if there is a karmic-need to perceive the subtle so the only choice you really have is to perceive it in a chaotic way as life throws it at you or to take control of it and make it happen how you want it to happen for a life in equilibrium.
