open_space (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
open_space) wrote2022-11-28 08:56 am
open_space) wrote2022-11-28 08:56 am
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Geomantic offering
Another month has passed so here is another divination offering, so if you have a question, I'll be happy to ask the coins using geomancy about it. That said, divination is like weather forecasting not a tablet of truth handed down from above, so take the advice I give you through the reading as such. The conditions that divination taps into are also in constant flux, the same as atmospheric pressure and the Moon. Any actions taken from the information of the readings are entirely the responsibility of the querent and do not replace nor pretend to be professional legal, medical or spiritual counseling.
Be sure to ask questions to which you want to know the answer. Also, divination doesn't always tell you about things you already know about, actually, it almost never does! My suggestion is that you question yourself, especially on things that make you flinch if any, and consider the points mentioned from a stance of possibility not of confirmation bias (or it's diametrical opposite, falsification bias).
These offerings that I give are geared towards helping you by finding a way of incorporating the replies of the oracle into your own personal life so I am happy to discuss in the comments to compensate for the lack of visual contact to create rapport with your situation and thus provide more useful readings.
Thanks for stopping by!
If you wish to make a donation for the readings, though it is not required, you can do so through Paypal by clicking the pentacle. The money will most likely be used to provide a cup of something warm to the diviner in turn.
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(Anonymous) 2022-12-29 12:16 am (UTC)(link)The second, I bet you're anticipating my answer here. What emotional life? Oh, you mean that old corpse under the floorboards, is that what its name was? As you have deduced, I live in my head and emotion is my weakest sense, made weaker by a childhood that required further detachment. Between my inherent nature and psychological trauma, I would have no idea how to answer, the concept is so alien. Also, if that's supposed to represent who the deity is in anyway it's either a misfire or further proof of a misunderstanding on my part. Or it's confirming what I said above about maybe being hopelessly inadequate for the job.
I can sense the journaling suggestion coming again. I have been doing that in some form or another for a very long time, and contemplating my life circumstances and internal reactions is a full time job. I'm badly damaged this life, if I didn't learn how it works I wouldn't function at all. I won't pretend perfect insight, but I'm much less ignorant than you may assume me to be. I know what fears and shame and whatnot this is all stepping into, it's old stuff, stuff that doesn't go away because it can't be refuted. If I seem as though trying not to accept the loss of this relationship and failure of everything I was trying, well it's because I know what's on the other side of that door and I don't want to go through that again if I don't have to. It would put me at about the limit of what I can tolerate in this life and change the way I see religion altogether. It would be nice to have a chance to fix things for once as opposed to ruin being inevitable, my error made can be right, some action of mine that can have a positive effect, I could do more than just close the door and walk away.
I'm confused that you say I'm still processing the first experience. That was old and settled. This is a second experience, that I did not anticipate on account of assumptions made about the first.
The spiritual became the core of everything automatically after that experience, I did think for a long time it could work, and much to my annoyance I was starting to find ways that it actually could before this happened (this is why I don't think that he is not suppressing it, I was not in a bad place when this happened, I had a decent plan moving forward, why would I do that to myself now as opposed to earlier? It doesn't make sense to me). It was motivation that I held onto and kept me going when I otherwise would've given up for half my life. I don't have a nonspiritual life (I do not know what I said that indicates many blessings, much less anything of equal weight). Recluse, you know. That's usually the sort of life well suited to focusing on spiritual matters because all else is gone. I have no idea what else someone would focus on; a family member in a similar situation watches 80s sitcoms and reads trashy romance novels, I suppose I could do that though I'd rather not. Hell, if I had something else to fall back on, I probably would've washed my hands of this mess long ago. I'd say that a change of that magnitude isn't going to happen, but I don't even think it is meant to, I think this is where I'm supposed to be for whatever reason that is. The spiritual life worked to some extent and nothing else ever did; the period of time early after that first experience when I tried not being a recluse was nothing but a disaster, returning to the hermitage and all that enables this to continue comes together with a surprising ease that suggests moving with the universe rather than against it. I don't understand it, but it is. Maybe the universe wants me dedicating to 80s sitcoms and trashy romance, or retro games and horror movies.
The relationship was the only source of long term motivation I had; short term sure (projects that take my attention away from this for a while - yes, I've done that, too, two different times) but not the sort that is required to make any real progress. I'd have been perfectly happy to continue picking at my damaged mental state alongside and as a part of working on that goal; I would've been happy picking up other skills alongside and as a part of working on that goal. All of that was more likely to happen with the connection as it was, and less likely to happen now. Another reason this doesn't make sense to me, even as I still think the problem is on his end rather than mine; if this was what he wanted to happen, this may have been the worst way to go about it, the kind I don't think a benevolent god would make if it wants to help. Journaling! I can hear in the distance :). This I'm quite familiar with, enough to manipulate it for short term goals, but if there is any way move it out of the neighborhood I've not found it. It rests atop a solid foundation and keeps finding reinforcements, its opposition lives in a little hut made of toothpicks and tissue paper.
As things stand, that scenario looks more like giving up. The goal you held onto and tried best you could with what you had to move toward for more than half your life will never happen, settle for something else instead. There may be plenty I could do, alongside and as a part of the original goal; but in its place? Long term? I really don't think there is anything that can serve as a replacement. I could see me finding something to do very short term, but long term petering out. Abandonment is more likely than a peaceful unfolding. Why was I not allowed to at least try once I found better information than I'd gotten before? Why was I cut off the second I had something that might actually work? Why would I think any other effort in this direction will end any other way? No, I'm not asking you this, I don't expect you to answer, and I know what my answers would be.
Of course at the end, you say go and get that relationship back. Keep poking at the void, keep my thumb on the metaphysical doorbell sooner or later he has to answer if just to shut me up (or try navigating the problems of the second one). That would be my choice, provided it is up to me (when there is someone else involved, it never is), that would go a long way toward improving my mental state, giving me a motive to keep going and a sense this work will be worth something someday. I'm glad you think the odds are good, I wish there was something I could point to that agreed with that.
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The comment btw, I deleted yesterday before noticing you had replied. I wanted to check some other details about the chart.
I wasn't suggesting at all who the deity might be, which is why I asked about it. Whatever experiences you need to process, you clearly still need to process them to get where you want (or not want) to go, or anywhere really. No blessings? You had a great spiritual experience, and you are making it as though that's a bad thing, and if it's a bad thing then why not just let it go? If you are a recluse to dedicate yourself to the spiritual but you don't have any practices, then that's another contradiction. That's why there are two currents in the energy of your readings you want different opposite things, and when that happens, you get stuck. But you already know that.
I did say it wasn't an easy task and I didn't say you should do it, I said if that's what you want, this might happen with this deity or in a more general way. Is the connection to this deity still there? It seems to be, but there are also these things you have to work upon. I would be surprised if you didn't get something out of the set of lessons. Overall, it is entirely up to you, nor do I consider you ignorant, I just don't know you. If I suggested basic things is because it is a basic question to a situation you feel hopeless about. All I am doing is saying what the chart says and it is also what I would suggest, relax about the whole situation --you are not choosing your soul's path here-- work on healing your emotional life, move on and keep working on your spirituality. On the other hand, if you don't want to do something, don't do it, but then why bother asking? You need to change your passivity for activity. Overall, it seems like an unhealthy attitude to me to hold on to something you don't have while not doing something to get it and winding up on reasons and counter reasons as to why or why not things happened, which is represented in the opposing figures and the activity required by you, in particular with your emotions as represented in what needs to change to get the joining that you want.
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Original comment below:
Dear Recluse,
First of all, thank you for sharing all this with me! I am glad you've put thought into this, and for the engagement with the points we've discussed. It seems you've gotten a grasp on some threads to follow and upon inspection even finding some hope even if it seems little. It generally sounds to me, rereading our conversations, that you are still processing the first experience you had and the mourning when you felt it left you. Both of those things are important to do at our own pace, being patient and loving with ourselves, respectively. It sounds as though you also have many blessings in your life too, but you are not giving them the same weight, that seems a little unfair to me.
Searching for an explanation as to why things turned out one way or the other is a natural response, but people have noted that many times the issue really lies in the fear of accepting things as they happened to us and letting them go instead of there being some higher meaning to them. The way forward lies in attending to the results of the experiences more than understanding them.
The Dion Fortune passage was only to show the process of how long it takes for drastic things to happen and that it involves a process of cleansing, development, failure, growing etc.
Having said that, let's back up a little bit and keep both answers at hand. The other figures do matter but the triplicities and the way of points are advanced methods of interpretation that don't need to be explored in detail all the time. A reading can be spun almost as much as you want it to, I've had divinations that I keep coming back to over time for example, so the depth varies per question but it is important to keep the central ideas present. It is also layered, starting from the Judge, so it has the weight of the reading, that's the answer to the question plain; and then "the witnesses, active and inactive points, triplicities and way of points etc." refine or complement the answer, but it doesn't change it. By the way, I have no idea what the odd figure means, the software generates it, but it is not part of the methods of interpretation I know.
What do I need to get my spiritual life unstuck?
Ffordd, movement. Movement about what since I've tried so many different ways, you say. Taking into account witnesses: to get your spiritual life unstuck you need to get yourself unstuck and less passionate about the situation. The next chart doesn't suggest the deity in question is doing anything to block or discourage the connection. In this case, what the reading is telling you, is that movement means trying something different and that means to stop trying so hard, to glance at the self instead and start resolving our fears, regrets, shames etc. while we cultivate and take care of ourselves. If you make the spiritual the core of everything when you are confused about where to take it, you are putting yourself in an unhelpful situation! I suggest you keep and develop your non-spiritual life as a stable foundation you can be on while spirituality being something that enriches it.
What is needed to get your spiritual life unstuck is obtaining clarity, being patient and being careful with putting too many expectations into a very personal and broad aspect. Does that sound like a general answer? Well yes, because it is a general question! Really, I see no problem in divining about the situation but definitely recommend against asking the same question over and over. Instead, you can tackle it from different angles.
Does my connection to this deity remain?
Cyswllt, joining, and with the witnesses the answer is "yes, but..."
Regarding your observation of the reading. Yes, exactly!. Grasp that and you've grasped the gist of the whole reading. They are opposite pairs, and that symmetry is reflected in both your readings in subtler ways. It doesn't mean they are contradictory pairs, it means something needs to change for things to fit and effort for them to get moving. What do the active elements that join them mean to you?
My advice given the past two readings is that you need to relax, do something to attend to your emotions, such as the lectures of the Order of Spiritual Alchemy to get clarity, to pick up a simple thing you enjoy while making it spiritual and also doing activities that keep you motivated on the topic of spirituality and elaborate on that while avoiding nervous stimulants like coffee, alcohol or drugs. Praying to your deity might be a good idea and more generally too. I am a polytheist myself too, more leaning towards the occult path clearly but I've found mystical contemplation practices, like the ones from Evelyn Underhill books on contemplation. Do you like reading? Select a sacred text and meditate from it. Do you prefer active things? Develop your intuition with divination and active contemplation. What about manual things? You could learn to use herbs and stones to create elixirs and sachets and organizing spaces to change the energy and mood of yourself and your surroundings. The possibilities really are many and I am sure there's got to be one that works for you if you give yourself the chance. In the end it is you who needs to do these things and arrive at the truly meaningful answers (or questions!) that we are all looking for.
For what is worth, if you want the relationship with your deity back, go get it. At least the "divinatory odds" aren't bad. Difficult yes, but your chances of succeeding are good, and it suggests that if you make those changes, your spirituality will unfold peacefully. Doing the work really is worth it. Keep in mind that as with all relationships, if it didn't evolve, treasure those moments but pick it up from the beginning.
Questions: Do you know which deity it is? What does changing water, your emotional life from passive to active look like in your life, thus transforming Coch into Cyswllt?