My Ex was emotionally and physically abusive. Leaving consisted of me snapping and running away to sleep on a friend's couch with our 2 year old son, it's been 3 years since then and I'm doing well and she's in a different city. While I don't hate her it feels accurate to say that there is some bitterness. I wonder if I'm holding on to bitter feelings for her because I don't want to like her, and I want to counteract the emotional bond that will always occur in an intimate relationship.
You talked about pain and fear potentially holding me back, I was a naive homeschooler at uni when I met my ex. She was my first and so far only girlfriend. I'm certainly a bit scared of being burned again. I've been trying to theorise my way to knowing how to make it work through analysis of the masculine and feminine, though I'm well aware that theory without experience is just so much hot air. I've rationalised what's holding me back as social awkwardness so I need to study how to be and what strengths to develop and emphasise. But from your reading it sounds like that's exactly what's holding me back, when I just need to get out there and screw up when meeting women so that I can learn to succeed with the right one? Does that sound right? And "getting out into the world a little bit" makes me think that it doesn't exactly matter where I go, just go new places?
You talk about "doing the things that would make you attractive for it but being cautious about it". As far as I have been able to work out what I think I need to do to be attractive is be confident in my own value and in my manner, while being discerning in what I value in other's (in the sense of not falling for the first woman who gives me her number).
And regarding facing what is holding me back can you tell from the cards if it's that I need to work on certain things more or if it's precisely overthinking and preparing that's holding me back and that I need to just go and "do" instead? ( I suspect the latter )
Thank you very much for your divinatory help in showing me what I need to see.
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My Ex was emotionally and physically abusive. Leaving consisted of me snapping and running away to sleep on a friend's couch with our 2 year old son, it's been 3 years since then and I'm doing well and she's in a different city. While I don't hate her it feels accurate to say that there is some bitterness. I wonder if I'm holding on to bitter feelings for her because I don't want to like her, and I want to counteract the emotional bond that will always occur in an intimate relationship.
You talked about pain and fear potentially holding me back, I was a naive homeschooler at uni when I met my ex. She was my first and so far only girlfriend. I'm certainly a bit scared of being burned again. I've been trying to theorise my way to knowing how to make it work through analysis of the masculine and feminine, though I'm well aware that theory without experience is just so much hot air.
I've rationalised what's holding me back as social awkwardness so I need to study how to be and what strengths to develop and emphasise. But from your reading it sounds like that's exactly what's holding me back, when I just need to get out there and screw up when meeting women so that I can learn to succeed with the right one? Does that sound right?
And "getting out into the world a little bit" makes me think that it doesn't exactly matter where I go, just go new places?
You talk about "doing the things that would make you attractive for it but being cautious about it". As far as I have been able to work out what I think I need to do to be attractive is be confident in my own value and in my manner, while being discerning in what I value in other's (in the sense of not falling for the first woman who gives me her number).
And regarding facing what is holding me back can you tell from the cards if it's that I need to work on certain things more or if it's precisely overthinking and preparing that's holding me back and that I need to just go and "do" instead? ( I suspect the latter )
Thank you very much for your divinatory help in showing me what I need to see.
Sea spray