My father figure has for sure played a major emotional role in my life, even if not directly traceable. It's something I'll have to delve into.

Thank you for the advice. I'm finding that the one day at a time and looking at it as a drug, not drugs AND alcohol. I have to treat it like cocaine or heroin (two substances I've never taken but potentially life damaging). Its a drug, I'm suffering from a drug. This viewpoint affords me much more compassion to myself despite the societal view that it is normal and most people can handle it.

As far as thanking me for opening up, I think we ad a human community effect each other innumerably in ways that aren't always obvious, and I'm thankful I can connect with the work you do here.